At Foster Wales Wrexham, our supported lodgings hosts play a vital role in helping young people take their first steps towards independence. These hosts open up their homes, offering not just a room, but guidance, encouragement, and stability at a crucial stage in a young person’s life.
In this blog, one of our supported lodgings hosts, shares their personal experience of welcoming young people into their home. From everyday support to celebrating milestones, they reflect on what it’s really like to be a host, the rewards and challenges, and the difference it can make for both the young people and the host themselves.
can you tell us a little about yourself?
For many years, I have worked as both a teacher and a lecturer. In my spare time, I also tutor children and act as a business advisor for college students starting their own small businesses.
About 15 years ago, I learned that our local council needed parents for a “supported lodgings” scheme. This program provides a room in a family home for older children leaving the care system. I saw it as a great opportunity and have been a supported lodgings provider ever since.
Over the years, I have provided a home for a wide variety of young people. This includes individuals from many different backgrounds: English, Welsh, international students, and asylum seekers. I have experience supporting young men, young women, and LGBTQ+ youth. I have also cared for a young man and his pregnant girlfriend at home and helped them as a supported lodging provider.
what made you want to become a supported lodgings host?
I had a spare room in my house, and I have years of experience as a teacher/pastoral counsellor/parent. I felt that my skills could be used to help others. I read about the programme and thought about how difficult the late teenage years can be, even for young people with supportive families.
The idea of offering a stable, caring home to a young person at such an important time in their life felt like a very practical and meaningful thing to do. It was a chance to help someone in my community take their first steps towards independence.
what does being a host involve day-to-day?
Every day is different because every young person is different. The most important part of my role is to be a consistent and reliable adult in their life.
A day might start with a simple “good morning” to make sure they are awake for college or work. Some days are practical, like teaching them how to use the washing machine or helping them make a weekly budget. Other days are about emotional support. I might sit down with a cup of tea and listen if they have had a hard day, offering a safe space to talk without judgment.
The goal is not to do things for them, but to guide them and do things with them, so they can learn to do it themselves.
what kind of support do you give to young people?
The support I give is in three main areas:
Practical Support: This is teaching real-life skills. For example, how to plan and cook healthy meals, manage laundry, understand household bills, and budget their money. I also help them make appointments with doctors or dentists.
Emotional Support: This is often the most important part. Many of these young people need a safe and calm home where they feel valued. I celebrate their successes, no matter how small, and encourage them when they face problems. It’s about being the person who asks, “How was your day?” and really listens to the answer.
Future-Focused Support: I prepare young people for the future by building their skills and confidence. I provide practical support, like helping them open a bank account or practice for interviews and offer personal advice on family or financial issues. As a teacher, I also use my professional experience to help them with their CVs and provide free tutoring for GCSE English and Maths. My aim is to ensure they are ready to live successfully on their own.
what do you think makes a good host?
I believe a good host needs a few important qualities:
- Patience: You must remember they are learning and will make mistakes.
- To be non-judgmental: You need to accept them and understand that their life has been very different from yours.
- To be a good listener.
- A good sense of humour helps a lot!
- Clear boundaries: It is important to have clear and fair rules. Young people need structure and to know what is expected of them, just like in any family home.
what has been the most rewarding part of hosting?
The most rewarding part is seeing a young person grow in confidence. It is often in the small moments. For example, when they cook a meal for themselves for the first time, or when they get their first pay from a job you helped them find. The best feeling is seeing them start to believe in themselves. Getting a text message from a young person, months or years after they have moved out, telling me they are doing well and starting a family, is the best reward.
have there been any challenges, and how have you overcome them?
Yes, of course. It is not always easy. The biggest challenge is building trust. Many of these young people have been let down by adults before, so they might test you to see if you will give up on them.
I overcome this with patience, honesty, and consistency. I show them that my support is always there, even when I have to correct their behaviour. The support from the council is also very important. Our social worker gives us great advice. Good communication with both the young person and the social worker is the key to solving problems.
is there a particular moment or memory that stands out to you?
I remember a young man who was very shy when he first moved in. He stayed in his room and did not talk much. We never pushed him; we just always invited him to eat dinner with us.
Several years later, I saw him by chance in a local shop. He was so happy to see me and told me he was now a father and had a good job. Seeing him happy and successful, living his own life, was a wonderful moment.
how has hosting changed you or your family?
It has made me a more patient and understanding person. It has shown me the difficulties that some young people face in our own community such as mental-health issues, education, employment etc. It has taught me to celebrate small successes and to be a better listener.
what would you say to someone thinking about becoming a supported lodgings host?
I would tell them to do it. If you have a spare room and a kind heart, it could be one of the best things you ever do. You don’t need to have all the answers because you will receive full training and support.
It can be slightly more work, but the rewards are huge. You are not just offering a room; you are offering a young person a chance for a better future. It is an opportunity to change a life, and it will probably change yours for the better, too.
We’re so grateful to this supported lodgings host for sharing his story so openly. His experience shows the incredible difference a safe and supportive home can make to a young person preparing for independence.
If you’re interested in becoming a supported lodgings host, please get in touch to request an information pack or to speak directly with our Supported Lodgings Coordinator. You can also find more information on our supported lodgings page: Supported Lodgings in Wrexham.
