The Foster Carers Who Changed My Life
I entered foster care when I was 12 years old. Over the next four years, I moved between several different placements before eventually returning to live with my parents at 16. My time in care wasn’t always easy, but along the way, I met people who had a lasting impact on my life, people who showed me what love, stability, and family really meant.
One of the biggest influences in my life was a foster carer who took me in for just a week as an emergency placement. Even though I wasn’t with them long, they became like family to me. As an adult, I’ve been on family holidays with them, they’ve helped me through major life changes, and when I had children of my own, they were there for me every step of the way.
Another foster carer changed my life in a completely different way. Before I was placed with her, I had been rebelling, acting out so that my foster carers would say they couldn’t look after me anymore. I wanted to be in control, to move placements on my own terms, and I knew exactly how to make that happen. It worked until I was placed with a carer who refused to give up on me. No matter what I did, she stayed patient and understanding. She didn’t let me push her away. For six months, I tried everything I could to make her give up on me, but she never did. Eventually, I realised I could trust her. She truly cared about me, and once I accepted that, I changed. Two years later, I went back to live with my parents, but I continued visiting her because she had become such an important part of my life.
The Lessons That Shaped Me
Being in foster care taught me so much, but the biggest lesson I learned was what it truly means to be part of a family. My foster carers showed me love, patience, and determination, and I carry those values with me to this day. They taught me that family is number one, and that’s how I live my life now, especially as a parent myself.
Staying Connected
Some of the foster carers I lived with are still a part of my life. They’re like family to me, and they continue to support me and my children. Knowing that I still have that connection, that support system, means everything.
Advice for Young People in Care
If I could speak to any young person currently in care, I’d tell them: don’t push people away. I know it’s hard, and sometimes it feels like no one understands, but there are people who genuinely want to help. Let them in.
A Message to Foster Carers
To anyone thinking about becoming a foster carer, be patient. You don’t always know what a child or young person has been through. The first few months might be difficult, but don’t give up. They need to know you’ll be there for them, no matter what. Stick with them through the hard times because, eventually, you’ll break through, and that connection will mean everything.
What Needs to Change in the Care System
If I could change one thing about the system, it would be to provide more support for children in care. Children’s Social workers change too often, and that makes it really hard to trust someone new each time. Some social workers also lack life experience, which can make it difficult for them to truly understand what we’ve been through. More consistency and understanding would make a huge difference for young people navigating the care system.
